Start with Yourself, By Ashleigh Musyt

How can I stand out as a leader? This question was posed to me during a recent online leadership conference. Leadership education and training is changing. Technology and social media has changed the way we learn about leadership and it increases our exposure as leaders. It can be a difficult concept to grasp for some people. For example, I just took part in an online leadership conference, my name can be “googled,” and don’t even get me started on Facebook. These items were never topics of discussion in leadership education until recently. With all these changes, I can’t help but think it’s time we took it back to basics.

How can I stand out as a leader? Two speakers stood out to me during this conference. One spoke on relationships and the other on honesty versus talent in leadership. How can I stand out as a leader? Be honest. Be authentic. Be a positive influence in your relationships. Leadership, at the very core, is all about relationships. The relationship with yourself and the relationships you have with others. What do we look for when looking for a life partner? Sure, everyone is different, but what I hear most often from my friends and family is that I want someone who cares, who is loyal, who is honest, and someone I can trust. What do you want in a leader? I want someone who cares, who is loyal, who is honest, and someone I can trust.

I also believe it does take talent to be a leader. However, we have more access to talent and exposure than ever before. With YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, we often feel like we are just 140 characters from our favorite band, singer, actress or Hollywood socialite. With the creation of YouTube, stars are born when they create a video in their bedroom. We have a crazy amount of access to talent. What I see is starting to fade in this world and in our leaders is honesty. Sometimes we worry that we do not have the talent to be a leader. This fear paralyzes us and stops us from fulfilling our full potential. But, when I think of leaders whom I admire most, it is not because of their skill set. I admire her because she is authentic. She has “done the work” to be honest with herself which then transcends to honesty with others.

When we meet our authentic self and understand why we think, feel, and act the way we do, we learn to love what we see. It is my belief that to reach your full potential as a leader, you must work on the most important relationship of all – the one with yourself. Before we can truly care for others, we must first care for self. In order to truly be loyal, honest and trustworthy, we must first learn to be loyal, honest and trustworthy with self. I did not fully understand the power of the relationship with self until recently. I finally realized that I spent so much time trying to change and control external factors that there was not enough energy to reach my full potential.

I learned the most about being a leader from myself. I have heard the cliché, “you can never truly love another until you love yourself,” many times throughout my life. However, it was not until I started to truly work on my relationship with myself did I realize the extent to which I could succeed. The most fascinating thing I’ve learned on this journey is how much easier it is to be a leader, a partner, a friend, a colleague, a person when I have a strong, healthy relationship with myself. Honesty and authenticity is a life-long journey. I do not assert that I have ‘arrived.’ What I do know is that I finally understand the cliché and how it relates to leadership and life.

So, how can I stand out as a leader? Be honest and build strong relationships – starting with yourself.

Author:
Ashleigh Musyt
Assistant Director for Leadership Education& Engagement
The University of North Carolina at Greensboro (UNCG)