Quiet Leadership, By Katelyn Chapman

Colorado. Skiing. Friends. Quiet Leadership.

The last two words probably threw you for a loop. My exposure to experiential education had my wheels turning in “Reflective Observation” and “Abstract Conceptualization” mode (see Kolb’s Experiential Learning Cycle) after my trip to Colorado with friends.

I had an "Aha” moment on the flight home. While the rest of the crew was enjoying some shut eye, I got amped as I realized a cool connection between what I’ve been learning through David Rock’s Quiet Leadership and what I experienced skiing in Colorado. I will show how 3 components contributed to having one of the best trips ever!

To explain how my Colorado trip rolled out and connected to quiet leadership, I’ll back up to share my story of skiing…

On the first day, I had the normal first day jitters. Besides being my first time skiing out west, I experienced the typical, “Oh, I hope my body remembers how to ski.” Some of you super confident people may not experience that quick moment of self doubt. For me, I usually experience it on the first chair lift up the mountain, hoping that I make a first smooth exit off the chairlift. I know my friends and random spectators would enjoy some free entertainment, but I’d prefer if it didn’t come from my direction. For those non-skiiers/snowboarders, you can equate it to riding a bike… or rollerblading… something that you may not do a regular basis but you just ‘pick it back up.’

Having successfully exited the first chairlift, I sighed relief. Now it was warming up the legs and experiencing the difference of skiing out west. Friends agreed about using the first day on the slopes to effectively warm up. We enjoyed exploring the new terrain, focusing on green circles and blue squares coined “Easiest Terrain” and “Intermediate Terrain” respectively. At the end of the day, I felt thrilled but excited about trying more difficult trails the next day.

During the second day, I continued to ski blue squares and bumped it up a notch with black diamonds on “Expert Terrain.” The Expert Terrain challenged me with much steeper trails and moguls. During the last run of the day, two of the more experienced skiers in our group chose to go down a double black, “Expert Only”. I started the trail and then changed my mind. My legs already felt tired- I realized it wasn’t the best time to try something I was uncomfortable with. At the end of the day, I felt excitement but also yearning for the rest of the mountain. A part of me respected the fact I chose not to do the trail on tired legs, but was determined to “achieve” it.

During the third and final day of skiing, I woke up beaming from ear to ear. I was READY but still had self doubt- Was I truly prepared for a Double Black Diamond? We hit the lifts as soon as they opened and proceeded to savor our last day skiing out west. We created our own tracks with the fresh powder – in this, I truly felt like I was crashing an X Games competition or something of that sort. Ha!

Following a few warm-up runs, we proceeded to the Super Bee (a chairlift that runs to the more difficult terrain on the mountain). At the top, we spotted the double black signs and the same trail the two friends had done the prior day. My gut started to sink and the three friends proceeded to help me by incorporating three principles in Quiet Leadership:

1. Stretch people- My friends looked at me for ‘what they thought I could do.’ They didn’t limit my capabilities based on “what I had achieved” in the two prior days. They didn’t assume I wouldn’t ski a double black. They “stretched” me beyond my current position, away from my comfort zone. By them stretching me, they helped me focus on an outcome that I wanted deep down but was nervous to achieve.
2. Be solutions-focused- Instead of focusing on the worst-case scenario, like if I caught a ski and then enjoyed a hamster roll down a mountain….or reminiscing about how injured people have got in the past- they focused on how nice the trail was. They emphasized that the first part was the steepest and after that, it wasn’t bad at all. (i.e. Katelyn could take a breath of fresh air after the first bout). They also led the group, showing us a specific line that they knew would be most manageable for us. By being solutions focused, they provided me support to meet my stretch goal – “the double black.”
3. Provide positive encouragement- “Katelyn, I’ve skied with you the past 3 days and I know you can do this.” Naturally when we are outside of our comfort zone, we are afraid of the unknown, the failure, our anxiety ramps up and we doubt our capabilities. By providing positive encouragement, we reinforce positive thinking and help stretch people.

They helped me enjoy the ride of my life (and I have awesome pictures to prove it!). How will you incorporate the 3 principles to INspire change?

Author:
Katelyn Chapman, MBA

3 Steps to Living in the Present, By Julie Kay

Some people spend their lives focusing on the past, wishing things weren’t changing and using their energy in an often futile effort to maintain the status quo. Others are so future orientated, dreaming, hoping, planning and wishing, that their present fades to gray. When they achieve great things they don’t stop to celebrate and enjoy the moment because they are already striving for the next goal.

For me it’s all about balance. Albert Einstein put it well when he said:

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.”

As someone who tends to naturally look to the future I have learned to consciously move my attention to the present, more often. I want to relish it, be fully present for my children and live in the moment. One of the ways I do this is to take a leaf out of Einstein’s book and use questions – questions for the start of the day, the evening and at bed time.

Check out the rest of this post on Julie Kay's blog.

Leaders Change™ Principle 4, By Dianne Garrett

Leaders constantly make and communicate decisions (as they change and as they lead change); they balance satisfying the immediacy of short-term needs to the strategy of long-term goals.

How many of your decisions are from your ‘have-it-now system’ as opposed to your ‘plan-and-wait system.’ I ask you this important question – how impulsive (or thoughtful) are you in your decisions?

Today, I did a self-accessed impulsivity test to access how many of my buying decisions were reactive instead of proactive. I went shopping with cash and a credit card. Being extra self-aware today, I was additionally contemplative over each and every purchase. In the day’s shopping, I saw lots of pretty things for my granddaughter; successfully not overspending for her; I bought one item - spending only $10 which was just what I planned on. I also bought three towels for the home that were 75% off - spending another $8.50. As you can see, involved in my buying decisions was the balance of now versus the future.

How would you do in an impulsiveness test? I urge you to conduct your own impulsiveness experiment to watch your own decision-making processes. Email me at drg@qleadintl.com and let me know how you did.

Principle 4: Controlling Impulsiveness

The good news- being deliberate is learned. You can develop a stronger brain braking system to control distractions that move you away from your intention and into immediacy. Leaders must know, in the moment of action, what to say ‘yes’ to and what to say ‘no’ to – your company depends on you.

The key to intentional decision-making is practice and intentionality. I offer you this list of nine strategies; many of these strategies are listed in a fantastic book by Dr. Pier Steel, The Procrastination Equation.

Ten Strategies to Living Less Impulsive

1. Rest and sleep. Dr. Peirs Steel tells us that the number one procrastination challenge is being tired; in that state we don’t have enough brain power to win over distraction. Stay rested to control your energy reserves.
2. What are your top five values (or your company’s values)? We make our decisions based on what we deem valuable – be it beauty, kindness, innovation, adventure, etc. Anchor in your values and you’ll have more power to say ‘no’ to the impulsive temptation in the moment.
3. Create positive goals instead of negative goals. In other words, craft your positive intention of ‘Live well – strong and full of energy’ instead of the negative phrasing ‘lose 10 pounds.’ You want to feel good (not bad) when thinking of the goal (Steel, 2011).
4. Do a goals plan. In order to achieve, you have to choose and embrace your targets (goals). Clearly identify what you want in life. Then objectively know where you currently stand. Next, list the steps that take you from here to there. You’ll be more likely stay on course focusing on a 15-minute doable action over an overwhelming goal.
5. Select 1, 2, or 3 ‘things’ to get done in a day, no more. Committing to a small number keeps you focused and on track. Using a planning system, not just a phone reminder system, will advance your execution. Check out the SMARTPlanner time management system at www.smartplanner.org. The beauty of this system is in its ability to see the whole picture of your responsibilities in one-view. Stay focused on the important not simply trapped in the urgent.
6. Create a personal email routine. All of life is not urgent; our fast technology world has taught us differently. Create your email habit with intention. My base email behavior is I login to email at the beginning of a work-day, at the end of a work-day, and when I have an email to send. When I log in to email out, I of course, check the incoming emails, I read them and handle the urgent, respond to others that take less than two minutes of my time, and star the ones that require future attention. Are all your emails urgent? I think not. Develop a system.
7. Have support. Ask for help - Hire a personal trainer. Hire a personal or business coach (www.qleadintl.com). Buddy with a friend. Bond with your spouse. Create an advisory board for yourself. We are social animals; use group power to help you live strong.
8. Speak your intention out-loud. Nothing like putting your integrity (do what you say you will do) on the line to hold you to what is important.
9. Control your environment. Manage your situations – don’t put yourself in spots of difficulty. I sometimes find it difficult to concentrate at home – I see the laundry that needs attention, the floors that need vacuuming, etc… and then I spin at deciding what to do. The temptation to do something easy or more fun can become stronger instead completing the important. My answer is to go to a coffee shop to work; I then focus and get my task completed. Dr. Kevin Ochsner of Columbia University offers us a great strategy; he says create ‘condition statements’ to help us win over a strategic change. For example, “If I want a chocolate bar, I’ll eat one chocolate kiss (instead of a whole candy bar.) Re-enforce the ‘if then statement’ by putting a picture of a chocolate kiss in a strategic place.
10. Small rewards pay a big return. Our brain uses a brain-chemical that moves us to action. This chemical feels good to us – it’s our reward system. So, apply this intentionally. When you start a task, decide on a small reward – maybe its lunch with a friend. You’ll find fuel to get the task done when you are motivated by the pleasure of lunch with your friend. This works.

In closing, self-awareness is key to impulsiveness. Know your goals, your current reality and the steps to closing the gap. Know your values. Get support and control your environment. And finally, give yourself rewards along the journey to success.

Author:
Dianne Garrett
Co-founder, QLEAD Intl
http://www.qleadintl.com/

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To see Dianne's Leaders Change™ Principle 3.

To see Dianne's Leaders Change™ Principle 2.

To see Dianne's Leaders Change™ Principle 1.

Manifest Your Own Destiny, By Josh Murphy

Once you have allowed yourself to be controlled and essentially become a manifestation of your position, your career, or college, or some entity that has nothing to do with your own ideas, your creativity, or your sense of being, then you have sold yourself short. There is truly something amazing about each and every person that is the foundation of our existence. The hopes and dreams; visions of a brighter future; the aspirations for greatness and success--all of these experiences are truly the point of life. The experiences that we create, that we build, that we endure, that we live--are what prepares us for a full life with purpose. What you make of opportunities in life, not necessarily what they make of you, determines your path in life. Being defined by a reality that you cannot control, or shape, or move, causes one to become stagnant in their own quest for a full existence and understanding of ones purpose and ability to create real and lasting change.

I have always believed wholeheartedly in the power of ones own innate ideas and creative inspirations to shape ones own world or reality. A reality that only exists if we believe in it, if we fight for it, if we work for it, and if we persevere against all the negative comments and negative energy that seeks to tear down and destroy, rather than lift up and sustain. The human cause is unyielding, it is deep, it is monumental. The ability to reach across the sky, to stretch across new borders and opportunities is the catalyst for becoming awakened to ones own passions and love of life. Once you are able to realize that you have a purpose, that you are worthy of a successful and happy life without regard to what others think, or a position or some other stigma that you cannot control, then doors will open and your life path will be enlightened.


The energy that each person puts out in the world is what they get in return. Your treatment of other people, your faith, your determination, and spirit of diversity are paramount to realizing your true potential and living it. Being fearless in the face of adversity, being free in times of strife and struggle, being hopeful even when darkness overshadows the light--always leaning forward, thinking of new creations, designing your own life map, and knowing that you can control your thoughts, your ideas, your life, and ultimately your destiny. And once you can take hold of that image of living freely and without fear to knock down doors, to break through barriers, to brainstorm your dreams into reality--you will gain a new sense of purpose and identity that is always focused on living the best you. Setting priorities, goals, and endeavors to live a life worth dreaming then your destiny is directly connected with your own freedom to live and inspire. Do not be afraid of the peanut gallery, the nay sayers, the pretentious, or those who seek to tear down--instead take that negative energy and shape it into a positive force for good.


You know you are making positive strides when the voices of negativity are growing louder, because they want you to fail, they want you to live a mediocre life, they want you to settle for less. That is when you know that you must endure, that your journey is not in vain, and that your life has purpose and meaning. Live freely, share, love, cry, trek, breathe, run, speak, sing, dance, create, build, reconstruct, whistle, design, fall down, get back up, draw, and most importantly, be you!

Author:
Josh Murphy
Founder, Youth Speak

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Biography:
The youngest of eight children, Josh Murphy began his writing career at a very young age, even before publishing his first book "Writings from a Teenage Mind" in high school. After writing his own column in a local newspaper for over a year, he attended the University of Tampa and attained a bachelor’s degree in government and world affairs in 2008. While in college he was actively involved with numerous campus leadership organizations and volunteer projects in New Orleans and Mississippi after Hurricane Katrina. His experiences in college led him to join City Year, a national non-profit aimed at reducing the national dropout rate, where he tutored, mentored, and taught students. Murphy has always been inspired by the power of young people and their ability to enact sustainable social change. Through his writings he hopes to empower and educate people of all ages to tap into their own creative abilities to make a positive difference in the world. He currently resides in the Washington, DC area.

Taking Risks, By Lara Amshay

“Expect the unexpected” is a phrase I’ve heard many times from various teachers, mentors, and family members throughout my whole life. Recently, in pursuing the silver level in the Leadership Challenge, I have learned the importance of leaders taking risks. This revelation came into play in reflecting on my time I spent volunteering as a Media Assistant at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships this past January (2011) at the Greensboro Coliseum. As my coach Ryan pulled out a tape recorder at the beginning of our session, I narrowed my focus to the recorder and strongly gritted my teeth. “We meet again!” I slyly told the tape recorder. Like Ryan, you may be wondering why I was talking to a tape recorder. For the past two weekends, I spent a lot of time “getting to know” the tape recorder and other technological devices. I had no prior experience in using a tape recorder before that weekend and I had never touched a Nikon or a Canon Powershot before either. To give a little background, handing me an expensive camera is similar to a scared, hesitant parent giving their newly turned sweet sixteen year-old their precious car for the night. On my way to the Coliseum the first day of work for the U.S. Figure Skating Championships, I had no idea what I would be doing. I was slowly approaching “The Unknown Zone” and I didn’t like it. Whenever I approach a task, I generally have an idea of how to do it or what it involves doing. With the figure skating, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be helping interview skaters, escorting the skaters to the press box, and I had feelings that I was going to fail at whatever task I was assigned. Despite these apprehensions, I zipped up my blue figure skating jacket and pulled my press pass over my head and slowly walked down to the Media Zone.

Later that weekend, when I got off from my shift, a friend of mine who was also volunteering texted me saying that my pictures were online. As I waited for my computer to boot up, I couldn’t stop smiling. For the past two days, I got to stand right off the rink and take pictures of the skaters warming up, talking to their coaches and other skaters, on the ice, and I was there the moment they got off the ice to capture their reactions. It truly was an amazing experience. I grew up going to see skaters perform such as Kristi Yamaguchi, Brain Boitano, and Michelle Kwan, but as I got older, skating wasn’t my first choice of sport to watch when Duke Basketball was on TV. Being right by the judges, I saw how disciplined the skaters were and how beautifully crafted their jumps and axels were. I felt the pressure of thousands of eyes on them as they gracefully commanded the ice. It was an honor for me to capture the sacred moments with their coaches and hugging their coaches right when they landed the jumps of their dreams. Just as the skaters took risks adding new jumps, lifts, and axels into their routines, I was taking my own risks by completing and excelling at tasks which I had never done before and had only been given little direction.

The next weekend, the final weekend of the championships, is a pretty big deal. The competition was broadcasting live on NBC and on Sunday the champions were crowned. I took a trip back to the “Unknown” once again when I met my perceived opponent, the tape recorder. I generally tried to avoid eye contact when the team leaders asked if someone wanted to record and transcribe interviews. I desired to be right off the ice again, front and center for the action, but instead I got stuck backstage with my new friend, the recorder. As soon as the skaters received their scores, a volunteer escorts them to the media mix zone where reporters from around the world are waiting to grill them on their performance. My job was to make sure the microphones were working and to be front and center to make sure my recorder picked up good sound. After the reporters were done asking questions, I was to run back to the Media room and transcribe the interviews. It was hard at first, because I was rushing myself to get everything down and to get it done correctly. After awhile, I got the hang of it and let my guard down. Things got really exciting when the top three skaters came back. Ryan Bradley, the overall champion, is one of the funniest skaters to be around. He was always smiling and making jokes, which really made me enjoy doing my job. And to top the day off, I got to touch the championship trophy before Ryan did!

I really enjoyed my time spent volunteering at the Championships. Not only did I get to work around great people, such as the whole staff of the U.S. Figure Skating Media Department and NBC Sports, but I feel I gained more skills as a journalist through my experience. I can now put on my resume that I have over twenty photographs of skaters on Ice Network’s website. I can also list the various jobs I did with helping interview, transcribing interviews, and relaying information for reporters. I now have been there and back from the “Unknown Zone” and it wasn’t bad at all! It was me, just me in those moments. No one else was there to hold my hand while I completed my tasks or tell me how to do them the right way. Ultimately, it was my call and my responsibility to trust my own strengths and abilities and to put them to the test. Yes, they were huge risks, but I’m so glad I took them!

Author:

Lara Amshay

Leaders Change™ Principle 3, By Dianne Garrett

A leader’s job is change - to lead change in your organization and in yourself. As John Maxwell says ‘the secret to success is in your daily actions.’ Are you making brain-smart decisions each and every day?

The magnificent human brain is built to spend energy wisely, and yet importantly at the same time, our executive center (the pre-frontal cortex), the part that plans ahead, organizes, and stops us from doing things we oughtn’t do tires very easily (This area of the brain evolved last). We can use more energy than is stored or perhaps think of too many thoughts at once and use up our available resources. When the brain gets tired, research proves that we make poor decisions.

As the brain tires, we lose our emotional control systems and can say or do something we wouldn’t do otherwise. It can even go as far as our behaving like a 2-year old in a temper-tantrum. Child-like lack of emotional control is not attractive in leaders. We want to follow those with emotional stability. Here are a few strategies from Dr. David Rock’s 2009 book Your Brain at Work for you to employ to not overtire your brain.

Principle 3: A Tired Brain Makes Poorer Decisions

One: Use the energy-efficient brain system, the basal ganglia (habit storage part of your brain) to your advantage. When you repeat actions, this area of our brain records the set of actions. Take advantage of this. Create intentional habits by consciously repeating what you want to be a habit.

Two: Let’s talk about multitasking. Not all multitasking is the same – some is good, some is not so good. I’ll explain. Good is our efficient system, the basal ganglia, records repeated actions thereby creating habits. Ever driven to work and not remember getting there? Well, that’s the efficient basal ganglia at work. Not so good is when we try to problem-solve too many items for the pre-frontal cortex (PFC) – that is usually 4 items. Multitasking in our executive center leads to poorer decisions.

Ever walked into a room and then not remembered what you went into that room to do or get? The event that causes that to happen is thinking of too many things at once. When we put too much in the executive center of the brain, the PFC, our brain bumps one (or more) off. Oops. Don’t over tire your brain.

Three: The pre-frontal cortex also holds our braking system. For instance, let’s say that someone was wearing something that you disliked, the more tired your PFC, the more likely you’ll not be able to stop yourself from saying something or signaling that you do not like the choice. This is socially impacting to our relationships. Be careful when you are tired.

Four: Focus uses energy. When I am working at home, I know my focus wanes after 45 minutes. My personal strategy is to do laundry while writing or working on my coursework. When the buzzer goes off I get up and move around for about 10 minutes. My mind gets a healthy break. In short, when you feel tired walk away, working harder is most often not the answer.

Five: Place visual cues all round. Don’t tax your brain by trying to remember. Use your eyes. Your brain reads and records for you – effortlessly.

Six: Set up a capture system. Save your brain for problem-solving instead of remembering. Choose a time management system that keeps you focused on your priorities. De-clutter your mind. Go to www.smartplanner.org to view the newest planner in the market; it’s a de-clutter brain system.

Seven: Chunk details instead of working to remember too much. Our brains can remember grouped information easier than lots of pieces.

Eight: Sleep. Our brains are more active at night than in the day. Our body needs this time to process information. Sleep is key to de-stress and balancing your body’s chemicals too. And, while you hear this all the time, it bears repeating – drink lots of water.

Nine: Quiet your mind. Slow down your thoughts. Most people don’t know the power of a quiet mind. We are culturally trained to think that we are smart by thinking all the time, and the opposite is true. If one’s mind is constantly busy then you don’t have room for new ideas (new mental connections and associations) to happen. A quiet mind is a powerful mind.

Author:
Dianne Garrett
Co-founder, QLEAD Intl
http://www.qleadintl.com/

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To see Dianne's Leaders Change™ Principle 2.

To see Dianne's Leaders Change™ Principle 1.

Start with Yourself, By Ashleigh Musyt

How can I stand out as a leader? This question was posed to me during a recent online leadership conference. Leadership education and training is changing. Technology and social media has changed the way we learn about leadership and it increases our exposure as leaders. It can be a difficult concept to grasp for some people. For example, I just took part in an online leadership conference, my name can be “googled,” and don’t even get me started on Facebook. These items were never topics of discussion in leadership education until recently. With all these changes, I can’t help but think it’s time we took it back to basics.

How can I stand out as a leader? Two speakers stood out to me during this conference. One spoke on relationships and the other on honesty versus talent in leadership. How can I stand out as a leader? Be honest. Be authentic. Be a positive influence in your relationships. Leadership, at the very core, is all about relationships. The relationship with yourself and the relationships you have with others. What do we look for when looking for a life partner? Sure, everyone is different, but what I hear most often from my friends and family is that I want someone who cares, who is loyal, who is honest, and someone I can trust. What do you want in a leader? I want someone who cares, who is loyal, who is honest, and someone I can trust.

I also believe it does take talent to be a leader. However, we have more access to talent and exposure than ever before. With YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, we often feel like we are just 140 characters from our favorite band, singer, actress or Hollywood socialite. With the creation of YouTube, stars are born when they create a video in their bedroom. We have a crazy amount of access to talent. What I see is starting to fade in this world and in our leaders is honesty. Sometimes we worry that we do not have the talent to be a leader. This fear paralyzes us and stops us from fulfilling our full potential. But, when I think of leaders whom I admire most, it is not because of their skill set. I admire her because she is authentic. She has “done the work” to be honest with herself which then transcends to honesty with others.

When we meet our authentic self and understand why we think, feel, and act the way we do, we learn to love what we see. It is my belief that to reach your full potential as a leader, you must work on the most important relationship of all – the one with yourself. Before we can truly care for others, we must first care for self. In order to truly be loyal, honest and trustworthy, we must first learn to be loyal, honest and trustworthy with self. I did not fully understand the power of the relationship with self until recently. I finally realized that I spent so much time trying to change and control external factors that there was not enough energy to reach my full potential.

I learned the most about being a leader from myself. I have heard the cliché, “you can never truly love another until you love yourself,” many times throughout my life. However, it was not until I started to truly work on my relationship with myself did I realize the extent to which I could succeed. The most fascinating thing I’ve learned on this journey is how much easier it is to be a leader, a partner, a friend, a colleague, a person when I have a strong, healthy relationship with myself. Honesty and authenticity is a life-long journey. I do not assert that I have ‘arrived.’ What I do know is that I finally understand the cliché and how it relates to leadership and life.

So, how can I stand out as a leader? Be honest and build strong relationships – starting with yourself.

Author:
Ashleigh Musyt
Assistant Director for Leadership Education& Engagement
The University of North Carolina at Greensboro (UNCG)